We're seconds away from Initiating "Jumper" (2008), we have fired up Paladin's Jumper World Tracking Monitor, please join us as we jump into this classic blockbuster

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#EarfulOfJumper #JumpForJoy #InitiateMovieMagic

Hi, I'm Hervey and I'll be jumping and commenting on this film #jump08

Hi, I'm Alan and I'll also be jumping and commenting on this film. #jump08

The blu-ray opened with a trailer for "Jumper" (2008), which was very odd, and then turned into this remarkable ad: https://youtube.com/watch?v=L7_k8kz99Hg

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Hayden Christensen in Jumper is possibly the coolest character even invented. #jump08

Right out of the gate, and we're already jumping! Hell yes! #jump08

It's great that it's not like a power he has to discover or whatever. He's just already jumpin' big time. #jump08

I like how the flashback to middle-school Hayden features an actor who doesn't look like Hayden Christensen at all, but also seems about as old as Hayden Christiansen #jump08

Young Hayden will go to any distance to chase after famous world landmarks like the Eiffel tower, little does he know how easy it will soon be to simply "jump" there

Oops, he fell in #jump08

Maybe don't step *right* on the slushy ice. Him going underwater as seen from the side of the lake was a gorgeous shot, though. Wish we'd held on that longer. #jump08

The sick CGI of him falling in was worth it #jump08

Hayden Christensen really could've played young Hayden Christensen here. #jump08

Less than 10 minutes into the movie and we're already seeing *lots* of jumping. I like it. #jump08

This movie could have simply been about the ability to jump only into the Ann Arbor Public Library, and it would still be good #jump08

Good room poster array: Metallica, wolves howling, Mark Twain #jump08

Classic teenage bedroom poster collection. #jump08

Wait, the river thawed over the course of the late afternoon/early evening? I would have only guessed it would have gotten colder #jump08

Yesssssss late credit sequence. We're ROLLING now. #jump08

Does Hayden Christensen just do cameos in this movie? Is it actually all this kid and we just get a few shots of the presumed headliner? #jump08

You gotta build suspense, the payoff when we finally see the star power of Hayden Christensen is gonna be incredible #jump08

The thematic richness is so powerful, we learn that Hayden's mom is also a "jumper" in her own way (abandoned her family) #jump08

All this jumping really seems to be causing a lot of damage to the surrounding rooms. Seems problematic. #jump08

This is only an 80-minute movie and we're still seeing credits over this sequence. Real good. #jump08

We've now been visited by Samuel L Jackson, of the NSA, representing the federal anti-jumper task force #jump08

HAYDEN!!!!! #jump08

Nice indoor motorcycles, Hayden. #jump08

This is my motorcycle, but not this motorcycle #jump08

It's so luxurious to have a sick spiral staircase, when you don't even need it (can simply jump downstairs) #jump08

Nice computer setup. Good PowerMac G5. #jump08

Chilling on Big Ben is the ultimate feeling right now #jump08

This movie is really entertaining, dense, and pleasant so far. #jump08

He's certainly jumping a lot #jump08

Tanqueray and tonic ordered! Apparently it's impressive that he knew to order Tanqueray? This is not impressive, but I still like it. #jump08

This is the coolest movie I've ever seen #jump08

I love how much of this movie is just gratuitous jumping. #jump08

Only God was meant to jump #jump08

Whaaaaaat. This got real dark real fast. #jump08

Jumping seems all fun and games, until you run into Samuel L Jackson's jumper trap #jump08

Samuel L Jackson (Roland) has breached Hayden's apartment, possibly by jumping #jumpvasion #jump08

"Need some help with that? It's been a while since you've used... a door." #jump08

#classicmoviequotes #jump08

"I hate jumpers" #classicmovielines #jump08

This is such a rending scene, Mr Jumper attempting to come home, but finding his childhood bedroom in semi-disarray (Mark Twain still in place) #jump08

"I want everybody up and running. Everybody." #classicmovielines #jump08

"We have his jump sites" #classicmovielines #jump08

This movie really spoke to a generation, insofar as Mr Jumper is the anti-millennial, finding easy wealth among the difficult of the Great Recession #jump08

Mr Jumper does not feel comfortable drinking a mere "bud" #jump08

This is basically a Hallmark movie. #jump08

It's incredible that Millie recognizes him, considering that he looks entirely different than he did back in high school #jump08

I really hope we get regular check-ins on Mark in the dark server room that Hayden jumped him to. #jump08

Are we supposed to be rooting for Hayden? Does this movie have a protagonist? These are questions we may or may not find answers to. #jump08

Hayden is obviously a protagonist (talented, cool, likable), but he simply needs to learn some maturity; life is not simply about jumping, after all #jump08

How does Hayden know how to fly on a plane if he doesn't know how to open a door handle? #jump08

It's humiliating to Mark that he was beamed into a bank vault #jump08

Millie knows what's up. #MillieKnows #jump08

Girl, if it seems to good to be true, chances are he's married, a fuckboi, or a jumper #jump08

This movie really captures 2008 perfectly, they're making out while some shitty whiny singer-songwriter soars #jump08

This is comically bad music. I love it. #jump08

It's been over five minutes since Hayden jumped, I'm losing interest #jump08

I'm really hoping that this movie takes an introspective, L'Avventura-type turn, and he never jumps again, instead grappling with ennui around Rome #jump08

Hayden's tricks really depend heavily on these doors being secured from only one side. #jump08

Both Hayden and Millie here are such unappealing and annoying presences (also perfectly 2008) #jump08

There are more of these incredibly cool dudes! Yes!!! #jump08

"Think you'll jump over all the place, jump jump jump jump jump, and nothing would ever happen?" #classicmovielines #jump08

Seems worth destroying the Coliseum over this. #jump08

"I just came through your jump scar." #classicmoviequotes #jump08

It must be so hard to know that you're the coolest guy in the world, and the only jumper, and then discover a second jumper, who's even cooler #jump08

Oh, his mom is also a literal jumper #jump08

I think it might be time to tell Millie about the whole jumping thing. Not a whole lot of downside and quite a bit of upside right now. #jump08

There's probably no worse feeling for a jumper than waiting in line at the airport #jump08

Hayden jump tearfully pushed his roller bag in Millie's direction, this is emotionally rending #jump08

That was supposed to say "just", not "jump" #jump08

Other jumper playing some really fun-looking video games here. #jump08

The cooler jumper has the ultimate gamer den #jump08

My god, he is *so* much cooler than Hayden. #jump08

We're learning so much about jumper vs. paladin lore, and this explains so much about what we *thought* we knew about so-called history #jump08

Hell yeah, Family Guy prominently shown, this is perfect #jump08

I do miss the good old days of unfettered jumping. This is a bummer. #jump08

Hayden is learning that there's a choice every jumper makes between care-free jumping (Cooler Jumper), or personal responsibility (taking on Roland, not abandoning his sorta-girlfriend) #jump08

Damn, he just stuck his fist into the jump scar and followed him, that's fuckin sick #jump08

Hayden acts like he wants an evil-fighting partner, but he really just wants a friend. #jump08

I like how we spent a while referencing "Marvel Team Up" to explain the concept of two people forming an alliance #jump08

Hell yes, we're back to gratuitous jumping! #jump08

"If it moves, I can jump it" #classicmovielines #jump08

Cooler Jumper had to jump a bunch to avoid congestion, but has not so much as hit a traffic light for the last two minutes #jump08

Wow, direct flight from Rome to Detroit? Impressive. #jump08

Why does Millie's friend look nearly identical to Millie? #jump08

Watching Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christiansen in any scene is just like watching Elisabeth Shue and Tom Cruise, but far worse #jump08

Millie *really* didn't ask for this. #jump08

The Paladins have developed technology that can keep jump scars permanently open? This is so fucking scary #jump08

This is what happens when the Paladins have been fighting the Jumpers since ancient history. #jump08

I believe in Hayden, it's possible he'll be the first-ever moral Jumper #jump08

Hayden has The Power of Love on his side. #jump08

This movie has become complete nonsense. #jump08

Griffin and Roland are skip-jumping through a scar-web, while Hayden is stuck to the ceiling, it makes a lot of sense to me #jump08

There is something very special in this movie about the age of 5; the age that Griffin first jumped, the age that Diane Lane abandoned her son, the age that Hayden first realized that he loved Millie #jump08

This is the densest, longest 80-minute movie I've ever seen. #jump08

This is such a classic conundrum: is it better to attempt to save your girlfriend's life, or to be practical and allow her to die, giving you more breathing room to chill and game? #jump08

Do they preserve momentum when jumping? They had been falling for like seven seconds, falling into the pool would still kill them #jump08

Wow, epic topical Chechnya cameo #jump08

A continued obsession with Coliseum destruction. It permeates the film. #jump08

Some things are more important than love, Hayden. Like jumping. And your cool Jumper friend. #jump08

Whoops, our thread "jumped", it's very topical, so I'll leave it #jump08

Hayden Jumper is the worst enemy of the Ann Arbor Public Library #jump08

Love the Jumper main theme. #jump08

Hayden Jumper has shown that he's different

1) Capable of not abandoning his loved ones

2) Can jump an apartment

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What the fuck, Kristen Stewart #jump08

What a nightmare, to be a Paladin mom with a Jumper son #paladinmomproblems #jump08

What an enormous sense of closure, what a movie #jump08

It started real strong. It got a bit muddled. It wasn't perfect, but it had its moments. #jump08

Jumper (2008) really takes you places #jump08

You can say that again. #jump08

Like, it's *incredibly* frenetic, and has a lot to comment on; it's also very stupid and very charmless; I *could* comment on this for 40 hours, but it may hurt #jump08